yesterday's dinner with the girlfriends filled me with such gaiety, i couldnt resist smiling.
we didnt take pictures though - none of us thought of it.

with a growling tummy and a starving face,
i met up with the girls at far east plaza.
the three of us took a whole ten minutes trying to decide on a unanimous place to eat.
cliche, we ate at nana thai in the end.

i had spicy mee goreng, which was pretty mouth-watering, and a seafood salad which was evidently good.
the two of them had thai red ruby, which failed miserably in presentation wise.

but we were three intoxicated girls, remember?

so while waiting for syikin's boyfriend to grace the outing,
we played cards.
and i keep winning.
now i can join those kids at the void deck playing cards whilst vandalising the table and walls with liquid paper (:

when her boyfriend finally came after a mere 757435845883464873 minutes,
ida and i headed to various shops to buy some stuff.
the two of us started to turn quiet after a while.
i switched to lethargic mode :X

so the initial plan was to lepak at my void deck and play cards (but no vandalising because i had zero liquid paper),
but we decided to scrap the idea in the end, because ALL of us were too tired to even stand straight.

no, we were not drunk.
we started off being too blithe.

i reached home close to 11,
and mum was baking pineapple tarts!
i plonked myself onto the bed, and realised that i couldnt even fall asleep.
so i stood up the whole night and made a birthday card.

yayyy.

now im at work, with repugnant eyebags.
dad made sandwich for me,
and mum packed chicken rice for lunch.

double happiness.

oh some random shit i found in my email.
a breakup letter from a minah kampung to a mat salleh:

Hi, my motive write this letter is to give know you something.
I WANT TO CUT CONNECTION US.
I have think about this very cook cook.
I know i clap one hand only.
Correctly, i have seen you and she together at town with eyes myself.
you always ask for apology back back.
I don't trust you again!!!
You are really crocodile land.
My Friend speak you play wood three ..
Now i know you correct correct play wood three.
so,i break connection to pull my body from this love triangle.
I know this result i pick is very correct,
because you love she very high from me.
so, i break off to go far from here.
I don't want you to play play with my liver.
I have been crying until no more eye water thinking about you.
I don't want banana to fruit two times ....
Safe walk .....
Tijah....

direct translation from malay.
if i were tijah's malay teacher,
i'd probably drink acid capriciously and die a terrible death.

thirty minutes until the end of work.
feeling all lethargic and restless, i still am persistent in having dinner at far east with the girlfriends.

i have been out practically everyday after work for the whole of this week.
i think mum's pretty peeved, but still prefers to reserve her comments to herself.

wait til the boon lay volcano erupts.
the hot, burning fluid will trickle down my neck once she starts nagging.

but the only thing i miss the most is catty sherri.



oh, and kudos to clor for passing her driving test.
dont keep stealing your mum's car ya? (:
looks like i'll have to take the train to town alone now. thumbs down.


my love~

today is a special day for someone.



It takes more than caring
To be a real friend;
The nature of friendship;
Requires a blend
Of warmest compassion
And love deep and true
To reach and to comfort
The way that you do.
Because I can see
That your kind of friendship
Is priceless to me.

happy 19th, syafiq dear.
hope you liked the three-stripes-adidas voucher. heh.

last few words for the birthday boy:

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

love you.

pictures say many many words.
i can open my own kodak shop, trust me.

gfs:


shy pie.


smily pie.


mirror mirror.


power of three sets us free.


my girls.


not-so-extreme-makeover.


guess who's taking the picture!


sexybackk.


i promise you i'll be there for you on 3rd sept (:


i ordered a latte, and they gave me cappuccino.


my tired yet dont-want-to-go-home-face.

delifwance:


at the counter.


my favourite coffeemachine is behind me.


failed attempt.


success!


project xxx.


hahahahahazirahh (as chia calls her).


fiqah yo yo yo.


sorry sir. tk sengaje :(

and the one i miss the most:


diyanaaaaaa.

pictures to be continued. i have loads more to clear.
hehe.

im taking short breaks in between calling teachers.
my patience is thinning - im undeniably getting all vexed up.
almost all the teachers listed are unreachable.

it's not as if they're superstars, you know.
when i become a teacher in years to come, i'll make sure my office number is diverted to my mobile, so future interns need not suffer concurrent fate like me now.

divine decree, they call it.

i finally logged into my hotmail account, and discovered 987 unread messages.
apparently the last time i checked my mails were in april.
and i stumbled upon an email forwarded by nadhirah (:

sent on 16 june 2007 (YES, TWO FREAKING MONTHS AGO!):


January 01 - 09 ~ Dog
January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
January 25 - 31 ~ Lion

February 01 - 05 ~ Cat
February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
February 22 - 28 ~ Panther

March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey
March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
March 24 - 31 ~ Cat

April 01 - 03 ~ Dog
April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle

May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey
May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
May 22 - 31 ~ Lion

June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse
June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
June 25 - 30 ~ Cat

July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse
July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
July 27 - 31 ~ Cat

August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle

September 01 - 14 ~ Dove
September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
September 28 - 30 ~ Dog

October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
October 28 - 31 ~ Panther

November 01 - 16 ~ Lion
November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
December 01 - 16 ~ Dog
December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
December 26 - 31 ~ Dove

If you are a Dog : A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified.

If you are a Mouse : Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all get-together's. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!

If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. Popular and easy-going. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. People love the way you always treat them. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!!

If you are a Cat : An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy, with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under normal circumstances you're cool but when given a reason to, you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.

If you are a Turtle : You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people. You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.

If you are a Dove : You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life. Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love....

If you are a Panther : You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk. You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group. Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.

If you are a Monkey : Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!

how spot on. thanks nadhirah for the riveting email!

oh. im a turtle by the way.
you guys should actually match the given animals to your respective personalities.

mine is so correct, i have to admit.

it's been eons since i've actually had a real conversation with inamorato, syafiq.
all those brief hellos and how are yous are a bit too subtle, dont you agree?

when can we sit down at coffeebean? i'd love to have my blackforest blended.
and you can have your forest fruit tea :)

i brought my handphone cable. pictures later, yeay!

Shooting stars are a bonus of stargazing.
If you watch the sky on a dark night for half an hour you should spot several brief streaks of light - meteors.
All you need is a blanket to lie on, a clear view of the sky on a dark, moonless night and patience.
Of course, some dont usually have much patience, but it is amazing how they react when they see their first shooting star.

i saw my first shooting star on sunday morning itself.
the cooling breeze was just the right amount, the clouds looked breathtakingly beautiful.
frankly, i never knew that shooting stars actually exist.
but the moment i saw the brief streak of light, i turned speechless.

stargazing wasnt my kind of thing before.

now, i am utterly amazed by the wonders of God's creation.
it was certainly a night to remember, with you.

camera was dying, so zilch pictures to justify my awe.
do your thing, people.
go stargazing. you'll be just as mesmerised as me.

(actually the paragraphs above made me sound like a jakun.)

and yesterday, you made me cringe with fear, boyfriend.
i am still in shock from yesterday's ordeal.
my right cheek still feels the numbness, and my mind keeps re-enacting the whole scene by itself.
and my heart? it's become more confused.

28 aug 07, 1.03am
i promise u im going to change. mark my words. i love u..

28 aug 07, 4.19am
i believe im at fault always.. im sori.. i'll show you i cn take cre of u..

i smiled when i read the second message.
but when i touched my cheek and felt the numbness,
i actually went back to sleep without thinking any further.

you were the first guy to slap me. did you feel honoured?

one day when i look pleasingly dainty,
i hope you eat your heart out.

it's absolutely ludicrous how a boyfriend could actually repeatedly tell his girlfriend that she's not attractive and unpretty, but possesses a good heart.

i think i've heard that an umpteen times.

you say it once or twice, or even thrice, it's really fine.
but when you say it practically ALL the time,
it gets on my already-bursting nerves.

why cant you just layoff and stop?

i realise that im not petite.
i dont wear a size 6 or a size 8 when it comes to clothings or apparels.
and my feet is sadly a gigantic size number 8.
i have small palms, equipped with short, stubby fingers; so rings and accessories dont look that appealing on me.

but that doesnt mean you have to declare to me your truest opinions everyday.

i request that you just keep quiet, period.
i wanted to blog about happy things, but you made me whine about you all the time.

im having constant cravings for good food.

gelare's waffles ice cream.
auntie anne's chocolate coated pretzels.
ramen ten at far east plaza.
curry zazzle baked rice at pizza hut.
7-11's siew mai.

accompanied with a glass full of ice cold ribena.

this happens all the time when you make me confused, you actor.
i just came to terms with how bona fide my life is.

crestfalling fact.

people like me blog in malay when they're angry.

i was bloghopping just now, and came across a particular blog which added to the 1001-reasons-why-i-should-break-off-with-you.
my laughing gas boyfriend, oh my foot!

kau ingat kau sape sial.
uat aku cam ni?
babu kau? banker kau?
kau senang2 kata ngan aku yg kau syg kat aku,
then tau2 je kau de fling ngan budak secondary school.
tsk.
kalau bbl ngan aku kat phone mlm2, oh tau nk tido cepat la, penat la, sok skola la.
kpale buto sial.
in the end kau bbl ngan pompan lain sampai 2am.
kau pikir aku bodoh pe?
kau sampai kena buang skola, jgn nk bagi alasan la yg kau tk dpt keje psl nk concentrate on studies!
aku blaja tinggi2 sampai poly, tk sia2 la!
aper kau pikir world wide web ni slamat pe?
ah fuck la cheebye!
kalau nk twotime/threetime aku, jgn uat ngan bdk yg ader blog la bodoh!
byk2 org aku kesiankan, aku kesiankan makcik kau siol!
susah payah dier nk besarkan kau, kasi kau tgl ngan dier,
kau balas ngan aper?
kau bawak mcm2 pompan alek umah kau.
kau ingat kau romeo pe?
eh buto. aku dh tk leh tahan ah!
dulu masa kita tgh ok, kau bohong aku bulat2!
aku cayakan kau siallllll!
kau bohong sampai tk pelat, penipu!
kau kata ngan bapak kau aku uat perangai, kau de matair aru. kan?
kau jgn pikir aku tk tau sak ni sume.
and kau jgn ckp aku bodoh la.
kau nk sgt kan aku jadi jahat, kau tgu je k fucker.
bullshitter.
aku keje penat2 bkn utk byr mkn minom kau, bkn utk byr bill kau!
19 tahun aku hidop kat dunia ni, tk pernah siol aku sponsor mkn minom org bila klua jln!
kau suke sgt kan lepak ngan org yg tk tentu tol2 suke kau ke tk?
kau suke kan mabok kat esplanade sume?
aku syg kau, kau uat aku cam ni kan?
kau tgu je. kau tgu je balasan kau.
FUCK YOU, big fucking liar.
puki tol!
lelaki sundal!

phew. that felt good.
and my mobile phone went dead.
even better.

an ex boyfriend of mine sent me a text message this morning.

why do you still wanna be with him?
i've advised you, dearie. go find a nicer guy.

all i could reply was,

because i love him too much? and i have no idea why.

all he could say was,

haiz. you're smart, pretty and nice.
he is a lucky guy.

now i understand why we broke up last year.
we are so destined to become good friends, instead of lovers.

im now looking forward to the girlfriends staying over on friday night.

and the actor's doing such a commendable job in breaking my heart.
a chain of fools, they say.

but you know, there's always karma.
so mr actor, dont wait until i become an actress and make you feel a taste of your own prescribed medicine.

i can be a wonderful actress, with homemade medicine to make you feel how it's like to be heartbroken.

all you need to do now is to see and observe.

chanced upon this on the net. interesting, very.


When You Love Someone
by Preppie

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved him for so very long,
You would think he could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,
That he would always stay this way.
He treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.

You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
He started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to him was dirt.

He started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.

One night he was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later he was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.

He thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things he said were in the past.

You thought that you would marry him some day,
But this time God wanted to get his way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.

It was a Saturday night about ten o'clock,
You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.
You knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

This poem is about a girl who is so in love with a boy.
She thinks everything is going perfectly and that their love is growing.
Then one say everything turns around and he starts ignoring her and putting her down.
It gets better again for a couple days.
Then he goes back to being mean and eventually they broke off.

such coincidence is so hard to come by, aye?

so anyway, my weekend has been in a total turmoil.
i've decided to just bum around and wait for miracles to happen, hopefully.
eventually, the bad eggs will get their just desserts.

i believe in retribution, remember?
this vicious cycle never ends.

last night someone slipped a ring onto my finger.
holding my hand tight, he promised that we'll get our own rings once he gets a job.

his promises were always empty most of the time.

i just kept mum, and stared into blank space.
the ring was pretty, indeed.
whether he was really sincere, i dont know exactly.

he is a fine actor, who has the ability to bag the most convincing actor award for Suria or even Vasantham.
because as an actor, what he had said to me might also be said to other gullible girls.

like me. im a gullible being.

the ring is still on my finger now.
i'll look at it while im typing away on the keyboard, or when im on the phone trying to fix an appointment date with the teachers.

he thinks having blessed with good looks enables him to hurt people with his sweet words.

i think otherwise.

out for dinner with clorine later, work at delifrance in the evening after that.
armed with new packets of tissue, im getting mentally prepared for heartbreaks later on at night.

the actor sure bullshits his way through, sad enough.

You could be my unintended,

Choice to live my life extended,

You could be the one I'll always love,

You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions.

this was from fana's blog.



You're a Carpenter!

The Career Makeover
Brought to you by Tickle

Your hands are your livelihood. Your practical skills mean that you're the woman to have around when there's work to be done. You have a deep understanding for the mechanical complexity behind how things work—architecure, machines, and even people. You can fix or build anything with whatever tools are on hand. That's why you're so good when it comes to real, physical projects. As a competent and reliable process person, people can count on you to meet the specs exactly and take just the right calculated risks to get the job done. Your independent style means that you prefer to work alone and manage a job by yourself. And as long as you're given some creative freedom, you're ready to work.

Who's like you: Amelia Earhart

Likely careers: Carpenter, auto mechanic, landscaper, farmer, physical therapist, soldier, electrician

more teachers to call. more books to pack.
and i've dyed my hair.

im updating with a super swollen toe, and a recovering heart (:

i have pictures to upload from sunday's and yesterday's girlfriends mini-therapy sessions.
but i forgot to bring my cable to work. so that shall have to take back seat priority.

currently bumming in the office now, calling teachers up since 10am this morning.
teachers are weird.

me: hi, can i speak to mrs chong boon boon (real name withheld)?
person on the other line: sorry, she's not walking in this aisle. can you call the staff room?

what aisle? and i called from the staff room what. which gundusamy transferred the line?

me: hi can i speak to mrs chong boon boon?
person on the other line: dont have. *puts down the phone*

what happened to civics and moral education? and rakyat yang baik in primary school?

me: hi, is mrs choon boon boon in?
person on the other line: can you call back in two mins?

and two minutes later, the very same line went engaged.

that wasnt what i envisioned today's learning educators to be, really.


hey baby, how're you doing?
and do you know, this message of yours made my day.
you've practically been here for me since forever.
thanks, mr. le parkour (sp?).

the toe's killing me, and im down with fever.
tsk.

but yesterday was good food day, i have to admit.



my crib never felt more comfy before (:



homemade begedil.



mee soto for the sick girl (me).



i only eat bee hoon. i can vomit looking at the yellow mee.



lycheeeeeeee drink on a sunday afternoon.

as if that wasnt enough, aunt and uncle over with excessive sugar intake, to celebrate my toe incident.



my virgin taste of dunkin donuts.



superb donuts. i think my blood pressure just doubled subconsciously (:

i miss marshall cavendish, and i miss delifrance.
im still itching to go out; like somewhere away from jurong.
i went to the supermarket with mum just now, and she accidentally stepped on my toe.

ouch.

so i'd better think twice about going somewhere beyond 2km radius :X

oh and some enlightenment. i got an influx of text messages from someone.
i shall not mention who.

ur so irritating u know! how would u feel if i keep asking whether u love me everyday every hour? cant u see??
(for goodness sake. since when did i ask him?)

i keep asking what u done wrong, mati2 nk tau! ape sak! i know i've done wrong, cant u see i dont wanna tok abt it? susah nk tgk?
(here, i didnt get what he was talking abt, really)

cant u see it infront of ur eyes? my GUILT? think la! i just dont wanna talk abt it. susah?
(like huh. i didnt reply to the previous two messages, mind u)

Mira start thinking abt what i want, and stop asking those foolish dumb qns!
(oh. i thought you've been sending to the wrong girl)

i want u to make a decision. continue or not!!
(what decision? if you want a break-up, say so la)

i lost a gd fren for our relationship! nk tau sgt kan, there i blang! that fren hates me! u know what i think? our relationship is destroyed thanks to ur negative thoughts!
(well you wanna know what i think? im not the one going ard hugging and kissing other guys)

hmmm. i didnt know they teach reverse psychology in ITE.
just what did i do to deserve this, aye?

i didnt give my ex boyfriend a second chance, because of you.

why?
oh because you told me, if i loved you, i wouldnt choose him over you.

guess what.
im regretting every single bit of my decision.
i actually chose you over an ex boyfriend of three years.

now im going to tell you why.

you told me you've changed because you wanted to be with me for life.
bullshit.
you cried for me.
you also cried for another girl at the same time.
asking her to become your girlfriend, when im still your girl?

tsk tsk.
very sad actually.

you love to use reverse psychology on me, dont you?
making me feel guilty, pushing the blame onto me when it wasnt my fault.
and when i apologise for my fault, you turned your back against me.

you think this is the UK circus?
funfair?

now you tell me you love me.
now you say you dont wanna leave me and our one-year relationship.
hmmm. should i believe you?

i've wasted one year worth of love on you, bullshitter.

at 5am, you text me trying to sound as hurt as possible; trying to make me have the guilty pang, aye?
guess what.
i have a better confidante now - someone who has made me realise what a jackass you are all the while.
gosh. i should have seen your true colours back then.

oh wait. you love the feeling of being well-known, dont you?
one thing i learnt in my nineteen years of living on this uncanny world with human beings like you is that:

well-known not equal to well-liked.

easily said, you are not even well-known.
you are notorious. for all the wrong reasons.

and guess what again, mr bull.

you keep telling me you're attached to me because im not pretty, i dont have the looks.
let me declare this.
i think im beautiful. i dont possess good looks, but at least i know what love is.
i know how to be faithful. i know how to empathise with people.
i dont go around telling other guys that they are the one for me.
i dont meet other guys, claiming that i wanna help them in their DNT projects.

thats beautiful.

and i think im pretty cute for a 19-year old.
i dont care what other people say now.
because of what you did behind my back has made me stronger.

and im sick of you lying, saying what you want about me.

i could have been friends with a particular girl. she has such a sweet character, but thanks to you,
we were almost enemies.

but no worries, mr bull.
the girl and i are very ok now.
we are clueless as to what you want now.

oh, and mister?
i dont think you love me.
stop asking whether i think you are the one.

let me answer you this.

YOU ARE NOT THE ONE.

whoo. that feels good.
now you can promise those paedophiles that you 'll make them THE ONE(S).

im packing my suitcase, and leaving.
bye, mr bullshitter.




thank you to the following people for standing by me when i needed some shoulders to cry and wail to (in no particular order):

syafiq sunardi - since those syazrul days, right dear?

indra iskandar - i have no words to describe you. you are the best ex senior ever. swiss cottage blaze a path of glory.

ida - always giving me mature advices and sound opinions from personal point of view.

syikin - for always listening and giving less comments (haha!).

fyqa - always encouraging me, convincing me that she loves me a lot (:

balloon head - haha. i sense something nice coming from US <3

siti`kus - i love you like how you love me. thank you.

below is the update of my almost-decomposed little toe, much to mum's amazement.
depending on various individualities, some might actually find this gruesome and emaciating.



mum changed the bandage for me. not bad for an untrained nurse, really.



look at the amount of blood in the previous bandage - from the operation.


since mum's untrained, the bandage fell out this morning.
kind of scary to see my little toe change its colour, but yeah, there's always a first time.

so now there are a few options:

1 - buy a bunch of luminous green plasters and wrap my disgusting toe up until it fully heals

2 - wash the little toe and risk getting an infection

3 - just lie down in bed and play dead

4 - wait for mum to do her thing

personally, i'd prefer option number 4 (:

im going crazy having to stay at home for the long weekend.
i initiated going to the provision shop downstairs to buy some ice-cream, and ended up getting a lecture from mum.
she went on and on about how im always never at home, and this accident actually is a blessing in disguise - she can see my face, and i can see hers.
erm. not that i dont want to look at her face, but im dying of absolute boredom at home.

oh and the girlfriends came over last night to accompany me.
they were having so much pleasure making fun of my little toe, so ya.
i wanted to take pictures, but my camera died on me.
and they were passing my mobile around to bluetooth songs.
and the macdonalds' delivery guy gave me such adrenaline rush. super cute (:

thank you ida:



thank you syikin:



and to you,
i have zilch idea whether you were really sincere last night.
so im keeping quiet.

i present to you, the outragoues amount of prescribed medicines i have to take everyday.



i present to you, my little toe all wrapped up like a banditto.

and below is a summary of what happened on friday.

CHANGI GENERAL HOSPITAL

Date of visit: 08/08/07

Name of patient: Nuramira

NRIC: S88*****H

Address: (to my own discretion)

Telephone: 93870474

Date of birth: 19/02/88

FINAL DIAGNOSIS: FISH HOOK IN LITTLE TOE REMOVED

Main complaints/history: Was walking at East Coast beach. Right foot stepped on fish hook. Lodged in right small toe

Physical examination:

Temperature - 37.0

Pulse rate - 115

Respiration - 18

Blood pressure - 138/79

Alert - Fish hook embedded in right small toe, hook end in flesh

you see, misfortune befalls anytime, anywhere.

just moments before, i was laughing and running around with clor at ecp,

and in just blinks, a fish hook got stuck in my right toe.

the st john's team stationed at ecp couldnt do anything; the fish hook had another little hook on it.

both hooks got embedded in my flesh, and if they pull it out, most likely, my little toe would come off, and perhaps pull my flesh out as well.

clor was with me throughout the whole ordeal.

from attempting to pull out the fish hook initially, until the end of the operation at cgh.

i love you <3

and not forgetting my emo partner who gave the class gathering a miss just to accompany me at cgh:

alixues (: oh, ignore my face, please.

in all, thank you eugeneagneskwonghuimicheledarrenclaracloralixues.

and mum + aunt who rushed down from jurong to see me.

and the person below who left work halfway to accompany me at home.

i dont know what made you come that night.

but i'd love to tell you that i've given up.

im recuperating well at home.

many many days of mc from work at marshall cavendish and delifrance.

im gonna miss the people though.

and i felt real bad having to miss so many days of work.

manager eric has been smsing me to find out about my condition.

last night he msged me:

dont worry my girl, rest well at home. i will miss you.

sigh. so many people being so sweet to me.

and mum, im so sorry to make you come all the way down to changi just to see me.

i've told you not to come, but being stubborn you, you did, and im glad you are one stubborn mother.

seeing you wave from outside was the best thing i could ever wish for.

cook more chicky porridge for me ok?

im ranting. venting out my frustrations.

i believe i've declared this somewhere,

but i would really love to repeat this: where the matters of the heart is concerned, im a total flop.

a complete failure.

just when i thought everything was perfect, everything was sweet surrender, im faced with a massive attack yet again.

but this time round, from someone, a girl whose words whom i never thought i could never believe in a million years.

this time was different; i trusted her words completely.

suddenly i felt as though that girl was god-sent, opening my eyes to the real, harsh facts involving the kid/boy/guy/man that i've loved for almost a year.

so my instilled female instincts were right all along - i should have used them long time ago during those cinta-monyet-puppy-woof-woof-love-days back then in swiss cottage.

ok, a wee bit too late to regret anything from the past.

so moving on is the only solution.

its infuriating to think of what he had said about me, what he had done behind my back.

time and time again i've forgiven him, and time and time again he's breached the trust i've given him.

now you tell me. if that ain't love, then what is this?

i've been patient. i've been forgiving. i've been everything i wasnt in my past relationships.

i blew $36 to and fro woodlands, just to apologize for a fight we had at 1.30am in the morning.

i spent $70 on a ben sherman shirt that you liked, so that you'd feel better after a quarrel.

i helped you settle your bills, i did everything i can for your own convenience.

i've been looking after you - feeling guilty and remorse after each arguments, be it small or big.

people say it's purely stupidity.

some even say im blinded.

but i chose to stick with my stand; im in love.

but after yesterday, i've realised how shallow the definition of love might be to you.

so hereby im saying this. saying something i thought i could never say to you.

i'm giving up, although i love you.

i would rather be ashes than dust.

i would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than stifled by dry-rot.

i would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in a magnificent glow than a sleepy permanent planet.

the function of man is to live, not to exist.

i shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.

i shall use my time.

- jack london.

im at the lowest point right now, where everything wont turn out right,
everything didnt turn out the way i want it to be.
i just wanna be a simple girl, liveing life the way my mum and dad have set for me.

why spoil it for me?

yesterday i was elated until i felt like peeing all the time.



someone bought me a new mobile phone - the one which i've always wanted since eons ago (:

now i cant stop smiling.

oh, i had a great friday night, and a wonderful weekend too.
below are captioned-pictures, for my readers' convenience(s):

friday started off with...




clor and i, once we start we can never stop.


frelyn and gek eng.


we are the girls.


notice the hiedous alixues behind us?


notice us at the back? and alixues's bad photography skill?


second attempt (:


the theatre was cool for a book launch presentation.


the camera flash was too bright. enlightenment?


alixues's forehead is quite shiny actually.


huff and puff.


love. clor and i bought a couple ring with our same birthdate engraved on it.


hysteria, and i could still talk on the phone.


mascots sehh.


number two.


number three.


rush hour singaporean version.


perfect stranger, my foot!


rataPOOI.


clara's parallel to the carrot.


you'll see this once in a blue moon.


act cute. period.


i-dont-what-to-say-about-alixues.


it's the jellybeans.


grace and i (:


my pals are here yo yo yo.


it was supposed to be three of us interns, but look at darren.


clor 19Feb mira.

after the book launch, i changed into my delifrance uniform, only to find out that i wasnt supposed to work.
i changed back to my original top, but tudung was all rolled up into a ball.
so i joined them for a movie. thank god i did!


alixues always appear hideous (OMG it rhymes!).


i just came to realise how much she completes me.


we rock our respective socks.


and disturbia deserves many thumbs-ups.
shia lebeouf is hot hot hot stuff.


it's been a long time since i've used the peace sign.

that pretty much summed up my weekend.