i didnt give my ex boyfriend a second chance, because of you.

why?
oh because you told me, if i loved you, i wouldnt choose him over you.

guess what.
im regretting every single bit of my decision.
i actually chose you over an ex boyfriend of three years.

now im going to tell you why.

you told me you've changed because you wanted to be with me for life.
bullshit.
you cried for me.
you also cried for another girl at the same time.
asking her to become your girlfriend, when im still your girl?

tsk tsk.
very sad actually.

you love to use reverse psychology on me, dont you?
making me feel guilty, pushing the blame onto me when it wasnt my fault.
and when i apologise for my fault, you turned your back against me.

you think this is the UK circus?
funfair?

now you tell me you love me.
now you say you dont wanna leave me and our one-year relationship.
hmmm. should i believe you?

i've wasted one year worth of love on you, bullshitter.

at 5am, you text me trying to sound as hurt as possible; trying to make me have the guilty pang, aye?
guess what.
i have a better confidante now - someone who has made me realise what a jackass you are all the while.
gosh. i should have seen your true colours back then.

oh wait. you love the feeling of being well-known, dont you?
one thing i learnt in my nineteen years of living on this uncanny world with human beings like you is that:

well-known not equal to well-liked.

easily said, you are not even well-known.
you are notorious. for all the wrong reasons.

and guess what again, mr bull.

you keep telling me you're attached to me because im not pretty, i dont have the looks.
let me declare this.
i think im beautiful. i dont possess good looks, but at least i know what love is.
i know how to be faithful. i know how to empathise with people.
i dont go around telling other guys that they are the one for me.
i dont meet other guys, claiming that i wanna help them in their DNT projects.

thats beautiful.

and i think im pretty cute for a 19-year old.
i dont care what other people say now.
because of what you did behind my back has made me stronger.

and im sick of you lying, saying what you want about me.

i could have been friends with a particular girl. she has such a sweet character, but thanks to you,
we were almost enemies.

but no worries, mr bull.
the girl and i are very ok now.
we are clueless as to what you want now.

oh, and mister?
i dont think you love me.
stop asking whether i think you are the one.

let me answer you this.

YOU ARE NOT THE ONE.

whoo. that feels good.
now you can promise those paedophiles that you 'll make them THE ONE(S).

im packing my suitcase, and leaving.
bye, mr bullshitter.




thank you to the following people for standing by me when i needed some shoulders to cry and wail to (in no particular order):

syafiq sunardi - since those syazrul days, right dear?

indra iskandar - i have no words to describe you. you are the best ex senior ever. swiss cottage blaze a path of glory.

ida - always giving me mature advices and sound opinions from personal point of view.

syikin - for always listening and giving less comments (haha!).

fyqa - always encouraging me, convincing me that she loves me a lot (:

balloon head - haha. i sense something nice coming from US <3

siti`kus - i love you like how you love me. thank you.