down the road, im no longer bugged by the fact that you've shut me away.
im confident that i've done nothing wrong.
but of course, being you, you'd do your utmost best to practise reverse psychology, and push all the redundant blame to me.

im so sorry - im too busy trying to complete my life the happy way, to even think about how immature and self-centred you are.

my gosh. such cliche words to describe you, tsk.

so goodbye to us, because i know that i deserve better.
i'd do anything than to risk having you in my life.
mark my words, heh.

today i did a complete overhaul on my wardrobe - getting rid of old clothes and clearing the rack to make way for my shoes.
and i found this, slipped under the pair of jeans i've not worn for years:

Dear Mira,

Hey there, how are you? Wish i could start this letter on a lighter mood. You might think that the reason im not messaging you is because im trying to pry attention from you. Well, thats not the case.

I dont know how i should say this but i'll try my best to explain it to you. You see, the reason why i didnt talk to you is because im trying to forget the fact that i love you. Frankly, i still love you, i still feel for you. Everything around me keeps reminding me of you. Even when i see the plants, i get reminded of you, because green is your favourite colour. I know at this point you might think that im a psycho or a stalker. Dont worry, im neither.

I sometimes picture in my mind that i was holding your hands in mine. Every week i would always look forward to the day that i meet you. I even had dreams that you were mine. Well, a dream is a dream but thats how i feel for you.

Mira, i really miss you. I miss seeing your face, hearing your voice, your laughter, your smile, i miss everything about you. I tried to forget you, but i cant. i really love you. Hell, im just a peasant trying to please a queen.

Still loving you,
Hakam

all of a sudden, i really miss him.
this (quite cheesy and corny) letter was written four years ago, but i can remember vividly how much he had sacrificed for me, although im just a mere 16-year old.
maybe that was love, but im too young to know it.

i've let a really good guy slip away four years ago.
jerks appeared in my life up till now, but hey, its the experience that keeps me stronger.

hakam, i think you're married, with two kids now (: