"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."



churning in my mind,
apprehensive hopes building up,
the love starts to grow, yet again.

the three days stay was fulfilling albeit being brief.
all we did was cook, watch dvds, and bringing the little brats down for short walks.
it was simple - the simplest type of life i've ever wished for.

finally i've come to realise,
all he needed was company.
all these while, what he yearned for was attention and sincere love coming from the people around him.
he didnt need to drown himself in alcohol to forget his problems.

for two years,
he's been telling me that he has loads of problems burdening his shoulders.
i overlooked that modest statement of his, and even regarded it as casual remarks coming from a 19-year old guy.

now i understand, now it's all coming to light.

i could have made things easier for him if i had listened.
however hard i try to be there for him,
i gotta admit, i almost failed.

he had such an irksome childhood, and if ever there's a time to make up for those bitter moments, it should be now.

he laughs, he jokes, he monkeys around a lot,
but at the end of the day,
he tears and he gets worried - worried why his life is currently at the lowest point right now.
im not psychic, but i do empathise with him.

he might deny it whenever i bring the topic up,
but as much as he does that,
he's unaware that his eyes have given him away.

yeah yeah, i know you people might go, "EMO SIA MIRA!" or, "WTF DID SHE JUST TYPE FOR THE LAST FEW PARAGRAPHS?"
but hey, deep down, i really do wanna make a difference. to his life. in his life.



i just wanna be there for you.
stop crying, baby.