love.


i remembered saying it to this guy back then when i was twelve.
i had an utter vivid memory of what happened and recollecting it made me chuckle so bad.
there were no butterflies in my tummy - i felt nothing when i said the three words to him.


well, partly because both of us were cornered by the rest of our classmates, who die die wanted to hear us reciprocate "i love you"s to each other.


funny, but that four-letter word seemed like a tsunami in the dictionary of year 2000.
seven years down the road, i see the same guy, and no, zilch butterflies or whatsoever.


my point is, you have to know what love is before you commit yourself to one.
wrong choices might be made along the way, and the feeling of remorse is inevitable.
but if you could change things from the start, why not?


yes, i do admit in my own relationship, rasyid WAS abusive for quite some time,
but look at us now.
we ironed things out, solved whatever issues we had with each other,
and things were back to normal.
until now, we are still very much in love.


but when a guy turns abusive towards his girl, and refuses to mend his ways even though chances were given,
where's the logic in that?
if he trusts his girl, why make her surrender her sim card, just to check on her?

yes, love is blind. blinds us until to the point where the aftermath is proved to be hazardous.


so make a choice now: losing a guy like that, or losing the trust a friend has put on you all these while.


oh by the way, fiqah, if you're unclear of whats happening,
let me give you some background information ok?


i have starhub 's bill and termination fee to pay, which cost $895,
and few other outstanding bills yet to be settled.
thank you, i should say.

go figure.