at the end of the day,
the fiasco proved to be too much for my wishy-washy heart to handle.

however hard i attempt to brush off the fact that a leopard would never change its spots,
it's apparent that the metaphor, once bitten twice shy, would be a perfect slap to my face concurrently.

is it family inheritance? or is it just plain peer influences?

perhaps it's my meek personality that allows people to step on my head.
any worse, would mean spitting on my face.
maybe i've been too trusting when it comes to the matters of the heart.

i believe, for the umpteenth time, im a total flop in areas like these.

losing friends, losing very good friends, have become part of growing up in my life.
but losing someone i pour out my heart and soul to?
losing someone whom im willing to forsake my sleep/time for?

a wee bit too much, i got to admit.

as of yesterday, i've come to a conclusion that i need to get my life back on track, without him, of course.
i have students to worry about,
family commitments to take care of,
i dont even have time for myself nowadays.

surely a heartbreak would be a-okay for me to get through alone?

oh. maybe not. the wound is still fresh. ouchsakitnye.

for the thousandth time in more than two years, never will i ever turn back again.
never.